I laid back on the grass gently, my blue eyes rising to stare at the clouds that seemed to flaunt their freedom above me. My fingers clenched around the square sheet of paper in my hand as a lump formed in my throat. Hot tears pricked at my eyes, and I brushed them away roughly; intent on not letting anyone see through the façade I put on.
Wild strands of chocolate-coloured hair fell into my eyes and I scratched the growing stubble on my chin. I stretched my arms, and a strip of silver glinted on my left hand before I tucked it away out of sight and behind my head. You were sorely mistaken if you thought that I was strong enough to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and fix them like a puzzle to become whole once again.
You had been my strength, I wanted to shout out, you were the glue that held the fragile pieces of my being together and now that you were gone; how could you expect me to ever be the same again?
Lying there on the grass, and staring into the sky took me back to the first time I met you; you were dancing like a dandelion in a breeze, your hair floating in a weightless cloud of crimson around you, and your smile … I’ll never forget your smile. Seeing your smile made me want to laugh at my troubles and tell myself that life was perfect once again.
Then I remembered the day you became mine. You were crying, but still laughing, as tears of joy rolled down your cheeks. Tears were rolling down my cheeks now, my eyes wet and my cheeks and scarf damp. The years we spent together were undoubtedly the best I’d ever experienced with anyone, and even now, when I only chased after the dimming memory of you, I felt satisfied.
I turned my head to the side and caught sight of the marble headstone with scarlet roses, still dripping with morning dew, lying on it. They looked like velvet, I realised wistfully, as I reached out a hand to touch the smooth stone, my callused fingers sliding off it as I saw your picture.
You were my first, I realised, as I scrambled to my feet and dusted off my jeans. My first best friend, the first person I had opened up to and trusted so deeply. It was over, but the sparks that flew between us wouldn’t dim. We were at the end now, but we’d had a good time while it lasted.
I laid my hands one last time on the grey marble before turning away as the emotions I had repressed for so long broke loose. “I’ll never forget you, Hana,” I whispered brokenly as I turned my back on the stone and left.