It’s irritating to see you this way.
But then again, it’s irritating to see you any way at all. You’re breathing a little too loudly, and you’ve gradually devolved into a sweaty, noisy mess with each glass of amber and ice.
The kisses you forcefully plant on me are sloppy and wet and make me cringe and flinch away from you. What makes all this even worse is that I am unable to say that you’re not always like this, because you are.
Regardless of where you are, or what you’re representing, you’ll always think that it’s perfectly fine to drown yourself in alcohol and liquid fire. You have an unbelievable ability to alienate everyone around you, and push everyone that cares about you away until they’re hanging on the edge of the cliff; contemplating whether you’re worth the trouble you bring.
Like now, you’re mumbling drunkenly in the back seat as I drive worriedly. You aren’t helping me with your drunken pawing and snorted laughter as you giggle to yourself, occasionally managing to reach across to me to shakily stab my cheek or finger the sleeve of my shirt.
My impatient slaps and nudges have next to no effect on you, and I’ve all but given up on you when you finally nod off. It’s a sadly welcomed relief, because I don’t want to feel the irrational irritation when I see you.
I don’t want to feel the unchained fear that flashes through me once you’ve had one too many to drink, and I most definitely don’t want to feel reserved when you have your arms around me.
I help you out of the seat, trying to be as gentle as possible as I shake you awake once we’ve reached your place. You’re mumbling in your sleep again, and I know that a few more nudges will have you somewhat conscious and aware of what’s around you.
It takes me a while, but you’re finally sprawled on me as I half-carry, half-drag you into the house. You don’t hit physically, but each of your drunken ramblings hit me like a blow to the stomach.
After all, is there not a saying that tells us that the only truth we’ll ever hear is from the mouth of an angry man, or from the mouth of a drunk man.