The home I lived in when I was twelve?
It was comfortable, if I were to describe it in one word; it was just small enough for the four of us that lived there, and still big enough for the six extra visitors we’d get everyday. It wasn’t cramped, though it did get a little tight when you had six children screaming and running after a ball.
It was a terrace, with the same, white walls as both its neighbours. It had too many plants for its own good, though I certainly did find butterflies of many colours more than once. We had a dog, too.
He was old when I was young, and it wasn’t too long before he left us for a better place, but he was a delight to have. He’d never fail to bark at any of the others when they visited. The same way he’d never fail to quieten down when either my mother or myself went to see to him when my cousins got scared.
When I pass it by now, it’s dusty. It’s still unoccupied, just as we left it, and though it looks nothing like it used to.
It brings back the memories of butterflies and company.
I stared out of the curtained window; only to have the stiff red cloth block my view. Distantly, I heard a volley of excited yaps, mingled with furious barks. For a moment, my face lights up, and I run out of the room; battling to pass my invisible confines. The moment I cross the dark, painted wooden door, the dream ends only to be replaced by the harsh iciness of reality.
The sounds fade away to nothing, leaving me alone; without even the warm memory of them. You’ve left; regardless of whether it was willing or unwilling. It doesn’t matter if you wanted to or if you didn’t want to; you left, leaving me to face my fears alone. I don’t know if you realized that you were the one who was the only inkling I had to the real world; the only one that kept me sane in my struggle for control.
I’m sorry if I took advantage of you, sorry if I hurt you.
Now, all I can ask you to do is to come back; to return to me.
To keep my sanity, which you took with you when you left. Please, come back.
Come home. It might be the place where you’re ignored, or where you’re left to fend for yourself, and where you think that no one gives a damn about you.
Don’t get me wrong, we do.